inside the mind of MiKEY

A couple weeks ago I was invited to my co-workers church The River of Life church. I decided to go to this church to see how my co-workers spiritual walk was going and to see how they get equipped with the word. My co-worker “Debbie” has been a really awesome spiritual woman of God for thirty years plus years. She accepted Christ back in Louisiana years ago and since she moved to stow about 6 years ago she was looking for a full gospel church to attend to help her get back into the word. I invited her to come to CT about a year ago. She came and she was a little turned off because of the young people. She enjoyed the fellowship but her husband who is Jewish did not get into the teaching. Debbie did like the teaching but something was missing.

Now back to The River of Life.

Early Sunday morning my beautiful girlfriend Kate and I showed up at this church and were warmly welcomed by some people at the door. How excited I was to be greeted and welcomed into a church. I enter the church and I start to talk to some of the members of the church. They began to tell me about a class that really got them interested in this church. The pastor of this church believes in getting equipped for battle against the evil one. He teaches a class titled “freedom class”, which focuses on the book of Galatians. This pastor goes to different churches teaching this class, it is in fact a very popular class around north east Ohio. It has caught the attention of many churches and now The River of Life church has seen an increase in attendance. Now I walk into the meeting place, and we immediately begin to sing and praise the Lord. Sadly I did not bring my singing voice to the service. Five songs later we begin to thank the Lord for all he has given us. After that we get into communion, which I did not know how to do. I forgot that I was not in catholic mass anymore, I began to treat this meeting like mass, I ate the Jesus wafer and I did the sign of the cross… woops. Mistake number one, then the man came around with the wine, apparently I was supposed to dip the wafer in the wine and then place it in my mouth. The man with the wine looked at me and shook his head. I responded with a smile to the nice old man. After that Pastor Joe began his teaching on the story of King Saul, and his struggles and how we must learn how to get out of our minds and onto the lords. His teaching was revolutionary it was astounding; he gave his testimony as well. It was incredible this pastor was born again right here at Kent State University back in the 70s. He began to spread the good news a week later, he was transformed and was made a new creature. I was blown away by this teaching.

After the mind-blowing teaching he called up all the sinners (which I thought was everybody) up to the front of the church to pray with him. I looked around and many of the church members were walking up, even Debbie. I looked at Kate and asked if she wanted to go up. My poor little Kate was fearful, she quickly denied and nervously shook her head back and forth. I said whatever im going up there. I went up and to my surprise many of the people up there were chanting something, they were speaking in tongues. The pastor was praying for them as well. I just looked at this man with awe trying to figure out what was going on. His wife came up to me during this time. She told me who she was and she then went on to tell me that she was lead by the spirit to approach me and ask me if I wanted to speak with her husband pastor Joe. I agreed and she lead me up on stage during the service. I started to freak out because I didn’t want to talk in front of the whole church about something, I was hoping she wasn’t thinking I was some pagan who just accepted chirst or something. She then looked at me and said don’t worry im not going to make you like talk in front of the whole church. I just wanted you to have a one on one conversation with him before he gets bombarded with everyone in this building. It felt like she was reading my mind or something it was crazy!!!

Well anyway, I began to ask him questions about his take on grace and the indwelling of the spirit. We had a lengthy conversation about many different theological ideas. We touched upon grace, post modernism, persecution in the church, the emergent church movement, and even salvation. It was amazing, I told him about my involvement with North East Ohio Xenos. He actually read one of Dennis McCallums’ books, and he attended a meeting at Xenos Columbus once before. He also read the Akron Beacon Journal article about our persecution, which lead to conversation about suffering as a means of growth. It was a very edifying time, and at the end of our conversation he gave me some encouraging words to go home with. He told me that it is very unusual for a guy my age being so well equipped with the word to be so educated. He told me that he had been praying for NEOXENOS since the article came out. He was glad to hear about our stories of success through great suffering and I was also very edified by the stories from his church. We had very common ground and it was really awesome talking with this pastor. We were both very built up by the end of our hour long conversation. The one thing I shouldn’t have brought up was that we didn’t worship the same way they do. I brought up that we didn’t sing at Xenos. And he was baffled, you don’t sing? No I said, but we worship God in other ways. I did get burned on that one the next day by Keith.

“What do you mean you told him we don’t worship????!!!” – quoted by Keith McCallum.

Anyway, I ended up having some sweet conversations with different people in the church as I was leaving. I have to say it was really hard to get out; I kept getting approached by new people. I just couldn’t escape. I liked that though they were showing me real concern and they were effectively trying to outreach to me. The sad thing is, their youth ministry is not doing so hot. They have little attendance of college age students, sad. They left early too so I didn’t have a chance to talk to them.

I give River of Life church …..

4 Hudo thumbs up……………. Out of five.

This church has it right their theology is right on, and everything they teach is to build up spiritual warriors for Christ. They don’t just go to church every Sunday and keep God in a box once a week. No they have cell groups just like Xenos Christian fellowship, to get some, body life in.

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so last night before cell group i somehow stumbled upon a youtube video that Keith made back in 2003 about his deceased brother Buck McCallum.  If you don’t know who Buck is, his full name is Scot McCallum, but for some strange reason people call him Buck.  This man was pretty amazing he went all the way to Russia as a witness for Christ.  I just really don’t understand it.  My dilemma is strange i started to watch it, and i got all teary eyed.  i was so baffled by my emotions.  I mean i know im dating his daughter Kate, but that doesn’t make any difference, my feelings at that point in time had nothing to do with her.  She was absent from my mind at the moment i was watching it.  I was overcome with great sorrow but joy as well for this man i have never met.  So i felt compelled to write a comment on that video which is on youtube.  Sadly my comment was way too long. so i figured i would put it here and a link to the video. hopefully i can figure out how to work this blog thing….. anyway here is the comment i wanted to leave.

Hey my name is Mike Hudock and I am a fellow xenoid at North east Ohio Xenos. Wow this video really made me start to tear up. I really don’t understand it, I never really knew this man personally, but I always hear good things about him. How influential he was, how much of a leader he was, but most importantly how many people’s lives were turned around by this man. The lord definitely used this mans’ life to change people all around the globe. I wish I could have met him on this planet to see how this trouble maker lived his days for the Lord, and how he overcame so many obstacles in different countries. Its funny every time I ask someone about Buck McCallum they get a big grin on their face and tell me a story about how he tried to fight the system with love or bring Gods redemptive power to life in different situations.

I do pray for his family that he left behind, his wife Amy, and his daughters Kate and Kelly. I have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful family. I pray that they will continue to walk with Christ everyday and witness to those who don’t have that light in their hearts. It’s a beautiful thing what Buck did sacrificing everything for the Lord and moving over to Russia to become a missionary. His life was a life centered around relationships, something that many Christians get confused about. I mean that is what God is all about, his people, but more importantly relationships!

 Rev: 21:4  He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying
or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

1PE 1:8  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do 

not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible 

and glorious joy.

Its really amazing how the Lord works, this gift of love he has given us.
This gift of love so that we can use it to glorify his name through people like Buck and all the other
brothers and sisters who are now in the presence of the Lord our God.  
This unexplained love for a man I never met reminds me of the love I have for everything
Christ has done for my undeserving teenage life.  As I write this long ass comment I cry for the late
Buck McCallum because I have seen how joyous and rewarding it is to live and die for His name.

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Not so long ago i was walking around my room pondering what i should do with the rest of my Friday night.  As a young boy of only 15 years of age i was at my prime, doing what most high school teens did on Friday nights.  Now the choice is simple what will Mike choose Grand Theft Auto or Kingdom Hearts 2? Hmm how exciting.  This is a really good example about how many kids out there don’t have any purpose, or at least have fun on a Friday night.  Most kids go to a football game or go out and party with their friends.  Sadly poor little Mikey was in his room trying to figure out which video game he wanted to play. All of his so-called friends were at some crazy bible study.

Now I did not start going to this bible study for quite some time.  Many of my friends went to this “cell group” thing every week and I didn’t understand why.  For years i went to a catholic church and I went to a bible study or public school religion.  It was possibly the worst experience of my life; actually I wouldn’t go that far.  It was terrible but i did get some information on who God was and I did realize that i definitely did not like mass and worshiping. In a sense it was so do i dare say it…. “Gay!”  As a teenager who was looking to get out of his room once and awhile “church” was not the place to be at all.

Finally I was invited to this “bible study” again or this “cell group”.  Long story short I found God, for real this time not just like reading a book and thinking that I actually truly knew God.  This time I knew I had a relationship with a real living God, not some big statue.  I knew how to maturely love people, and speak truth into their lives.  This was my purpose to share the good news with people.  As I entered this Christian group a mindless purposeless teenager I found a reason to live, a reason to love God.  I wasn’t singing songs and walking around thinking I was getting closer to God just because I was eating my mini Jesus waffle, drinking wine, sitting, kneeling, and singing some more.

The reason I love my fellowship is because it’s so radical.  It’s a radical Christian biblical group, unlike most bible study groups this one is all about truth, not some truth from an old man starting a revolution but straight from the bible.  John says it so simple in chapter 8; you will know the truth and the truth will set you free! That is exactly what happened, the Word of God pierced my soul and made me into a new creature.  I was reborn into something good, something with purpose.  Now my life has purpose and that purpose is because for some reason some random Christians decided to ask me where I was going when i died.  That question and love that i received from some regular Christians gave birth to a new Mike.

Over the years I grew in my faith and experienced what God is all about i learned the truth in scripture and shared my faith with others.  Not so long ago I went to see a man, a very nice old fellow, his name is Brian McClaren, and yet at this “conversation” or to normal people a debate, I once again saw what could have happened if I would have stayed catholic.  Sadly McClaren did not want to debate, he is a very friendly person but do not be deceived.  He claims to have brought many people to the Lord, but what is his definition of salvation. This man does not even truly know what substitutionary atonement is.  This man is all about singing and dancing with God.  He is all about feelings but not about truth.  I was dumbfounded when I watched a video of this man at one of my central teachings, he was talking about how Jesus is like an ecosystem or something instead of the idea of the kingdom.  I couldn’t quite grasp this but McClaren said we should in vision Jesus as something that we can relate with or enjoy.  So naturally robots came to mind, I like robots, kind of sort of… ha-ha. “ROBOT JESUS!” i can dig that.

Back to the McClaren conversation that I visited.  It was pretty interesting to see the spokesperson for the emergent church movement he was again a very nice very friendly man he wasn’t like the kind of person who is defending all of his motives, he was just sitting there being a nice old man.  The thing is my main argument is the fact that he said he brought many people to Christ.  First off he barely used scripture to back up any of his claims and secondly he does not believe in a Hell, now what is he saving these people from?  That is one of the many questions that boggle my mind.  Really its not that hard to boggle a mind such as mine, but nonetheless if he did know the bible than he would see such verses in the bible like:

2 Thessalonians 1:9 (New International Version)

⁹They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power

Revelations 20:9-15- (Hell and the end times)

This brings me to my next point, he does not believe in the end times.  I just don’t understand why he would not believe in so many things that are definitely pointed out in the bible itself.  Maybe it’s because he is all about feelings and singing.  That is the exact thing I was trying to escape from my Old Catholic church the singing and the short term feelings that I got from each mass.  Now it has returned, over the past few years i have undergone a radical Christian change, i have a better knowledge of Gods character because of his word, my sword, my only offensive weapon against the evil one.  For teens my age, no spiritual growth would occur if you’re just going to mass and singing.  How would you get outreach?  Outreach nowadays don’t want to go sing, they want to party and hang out.  Singing is just so lame sometimes, and the lack of the word, well that just does not leave the Lord enough room to work into people’s lives.

“Why is your Jesus gay?”

- My Jesus is a kick ass mo-fo who has conquered death, and defeats the darkness through love.  He is the most high; he can make a storm stop by rebuking it.  I don’t know about your Jesus who sits around petting a lamb and standing on a rainbow, but mine has a sword on his back and serpent in his mouth, and at the same time he is approachable there is a sense of comfort when i am near him.

Mike’s final thought— don’t make Jesus gay!

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So i really should be working on a number of things right now.  My grades in College are sort of suffering as we speak.  My Old Testamant survey homework is due in two days and i have only done a few chapeters.  So writing this blog makes no sense to my crazy scheduale, but i feel that this needs to be said. 

For the past couple days i have been struggling with a small problem.  I feel that it has consumed me and my ways of thinking.  It has brought my spirit down, and i was thinking drastically.  I tried and i tried to overcome this dumb way of thinking but i just couldnt.  The problem was i was just trying to fix the problem on my own.  This way of thinking was effecting my friendships/relationships/and skills as a teacher.  Being a mel we often think negative about a subject, and we get inside our tiny little head way too much, and it really sucks. 

Today i was discipling BK, we were going over his first cell group teaching ever, and still these thoughts were consuming me and it was hard to show BK the love and motivation that he needed to complete his task at hand.  Near the end of our discipleship i opened up with my disciple about the problem i was going through.  He gave me some insight, and then we went on to close up our nite with some prayer.  During my prayer the Lord really gave me some insight.  “Why be inside your head and why try to fix the problem on your own?”  I came to the realization that these lies and deceptive thoughts are just being cause because i keep dweeling on them.  My focus should not be on myself and how I look, but my focus should be on The Lord and how he is able to get us out of the pooper if we just rely on his awesome strength.  I couldnt beat the demons inside my head alone, i needed God and some spiritual brothers to help me.  I put my problem into Gods hands and he showed me that i needed to focus on him rather than my stupid little problems. 

After an awesome time of praying, i felt so relieved and so energized for Him.  I was able to beat the deceptive thought through prayer.  I then got on basecamp and looked up some blogs.  While surfing the web with my skateboard i came across a blog by jeff small z.  His latest blog talked about an issue he had with depression.  He beat those deceptive thoughts through serious meditation on the word of God.  How encourging that blog was, and how ironic it was to come across that blog at the time i did.  It was an incredible blog, and it motivated me to write this blog. 

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I have had an interesting couple of days this past week.  Many things have come into my mind, and many things are finally being resolved, some more positive than others.  Well I had a revelation this weekend, and things need to start changing around here!  I have had this thought in my head that I was such an amazing spiritual dude when in turn I am exactly the opposite.  I am probably one of the meanest, most selfish, lying, backstabbing son of a bitches I know.  I try to hide my evilness from the world sometimes I’m good at hiding it and other times I’m completely obvious.  The worst thing is when I realized that I couldn’t control myself and I just kept doing things without knowing it.  I have been lying for most of my life, normally little lies that didn’t matter; I would do it just to make myself either look better, or to be more exciting.  I didn’t think I lied that much but… I really do and it sucks so bad.  (I was just talking to an old friend today and he said that the reason he isn’t friends with this one kid anymore is because he betrayed his trust and they were best friends for years, but sadly not anymore.)          

My lies have finally come back to haunt me, even the people I love and care for, I have lied to.  For no good reason I have lied to these people.  It was at that point that I realized that I’m not that good of a guy at all. I thought I was “a pretty good guy”, but I’m straight up evil.  Then I started to think about all the other things I do wrong, I’m selfish its always about me, I mean the rare times that I do get out of myself and relate with people is as I said rare.  I am essentially a pretender pleading ignorance.. “Oh I didn’t know any better.”  psh bitch please, I guess this is where all those times when I thought B was an idiot with a plan that made no sense actually makes some sense. All those times he said he was going to change and then called him self the noobie… I’m sorry I meant the New B, actually fuels my decision to become the New-dock in memory of the old Hudock. 

I cant even express how sorry I am to the people I have hurt.  I have prayed about this all weekend, and it is time to start over, time for a new change to occur.  I need to start loving, start growing in the Lord scripture, and start living a true life, because even the Holy Spirit can be lied to and it is so sorrowful right now.  All this aside I’m making a promise today to not only God and myself but to all of my friends for who knows what reason have stuck by me all these years, that my days of lying are not at an end but dodd-damn it, I am going to change myself to be a man of truth and to stop being such a selfish lying SOB.  God will help me walk the new path of righteousness this is my condition, God and the spirit has convicted me to correct my errors so that I may start living in that position.

I found this little passage from acts 5, that talks about this liar and what happens when lies really do come back to haunt you…

 1Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet. 3Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied to men but to God.” 5When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. 6Then the young men came forward, wrapped up his body, and carried him out and buried him.  7About three hours later his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. 8Peter asked her, “Tell me, is this the price you and Ananias got for the land?”

      “Yes,” she said, “that is the price.”  9Peter said to her, “How could you agree to test the Spirit of the Lord? Look! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.” 10At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband. 11Great fear seized the whole church and all who heard about these events.

In a relationship, trust is key, without trust there is no basis for love.  I have been very immature  all this time and as I said before, things need to change around here, I cant take back my lies, all I can say is I’m a filthy sinful liar.  I don’t expect old relationships to come magically back together; in fact I expect that some of the people that I have lied to, to not even give a damn about me anymore. I don’t blame them, all I can say is I’m going to try to change this, and start speaking truth.   With the help of the Lord I’m going to change and become true to everything, I will be able to speak the Lords word with authority and live a true life without lies.

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Well as i was driving to Columbus this weekend my car blew up.  Ya sort of, well long story short i had it towed back to stow and then to hemphills house then he tells me i need a new engine.

So now at this point in tooime.. WED JUNE 4 at 9:49pm.. Mikeys Malibu died.

And of course all this crazy shit has to happen when you ask>? thats right a week before my homechurch teaching. Spiritual/satanic attack you bet. This is Hell, it always seems to happen right before my teaching, something that comes up to distract me from God and his will.  fuck man you would think that i am stressed out, well kind of. Its not so bad,

1. im saving money on gas

2. getting some excerise cause im walking to work

3. might be getting a new car… SWEEET!

Well this teaching is going to be awesome nontheless, I know that God will lead me in the right direction and He will keep me focused on his word and what he wants, He will provide for me. So there is nothing to worry about. Besides looking for a new car is exciting! Its just sad to see my first car go. I had a lot of good memories in that car, and on that car… if you catch my drift.. mwhahaha

anyways… listen up future Word teachers!!!… everytime you teach something will happen to distract you, it will suck on so many levels. Almost everytime something has happened to take me off the spiritual track and screw me over, but every time i have put my faith and trust in the Lord and He has come through for me. So all you have to know is stay focused on the Lord cause ya you know when wordly things go bad it sucks, but God is always there and He is always loving you no matter what.  He wants us to be happy and he will provide for us as long as we put our faith in Him.

Ya some Hell is on earth, and yes i have to read some chapters in that book for basic doctrine and get a teaching together and memorize some verses, and get my car looking good enough to trade in and buy a new car.. but you know what SCREW IT! God is going to help me out i know he will cause i know i cant do this on my own, I need His help for this one all these struggles, ya im not worried at all cause God is on my side!!!!!!!

reminds me of that song 99 problems but a bitch aint one.  thats so true i have all these problems and usually the problem has to do with some chick but HAHA! not this time.

And this teaching is looking pretty cool it has to do with the future of Word, and the rise of new teachers in this ministry. John 7:1-49 its good stuff will teach new and rising teachers how to properly teach. Im not going to teach you about it, so thats why you should come to Homechurch next week yo! Learn how to teach with the spirit and not the flesh, lets pray i stay in the spirit.

the life and times of The Mikey Mally

April 13 2007– the chevy malibu was purchased

June 2007– i had my first date in that car man!

Septemeber 07- went to homecoming/ got new tires

November 07- fixed my intake manifold and got new brakes

Feb/mar 08- fell out of love/lust in that car man!

april 08- had a good time on the roof of that car

may 08- went to Prom in that car MAN!

june 08- drove to columbus, and the death of Mally.. the king is dead.. long live the king!

time to get a new car! God i pray its not a Geo…

i forgot to add something…

Dec. 07- jimmy got saved in that car MAN!

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Well Prom was amazing, after-prom was more amazing, and cedar point the most amazing. This weekend had to be one of the best weekends of my life thus far.

 I dont really want to get into details but i will talk about the most important things.

We were not totally selfish, i think its because of what happened when i first went to go pick up anele.  I walk in and Indre asks if we want to get into some prayer.  OMG! that had to have been the smartest thing ever.  It was a good prayer… we were able to get into the spirit right off the bat, thank God Indre was there to help us keep our smarts.  I think that also helped with outreach, and keeping us focused on other people rather than ourselves.  Good old Jon Ivins and his date had a good time, and good thing we were there sharing good times with them.  The first step to successful outreach is spending time with them and making them feel loved. 

Jimmy my main man was there too.  He didnt have the best time, his date was a bitch she totally left him to dance with some dickhead.  Jimmy was not happy, so i decided to spend some time with him and hang with him at the dance.  His day wasnt a total waste, cause i was there to brighten his day.  AfterProm came along, and again Jimmys date was whore-ing it up.  Anele and myself hung out with Jimmy at the after-prom, we also spent some time getting to know jimmys friend/ aneles neighbor.. Tyler and his girlfriend Gina.  They were pretty cool, but they were pretty tired mainly cause after prom was late at nite at around 2am.  We also hung with taylor ayers for a bit.  I dont know why but like everytime i would be walking around with ma date, i would find Mrs. Smalley following me, it was kinda creepy it was like i was being watched all night long.  It was really messed up cause some people got mad that i was spending too much time with anele, why wouldnt I, she is my date to prom.. no im not going to hang out with her im just going to go and do my own thing…. psh!  I saw so many of my old friends at After Prom, it was good times.

Then at Cedar Point Jimmy and his date showed up, and she actually hung out with him.  But she was still being a bitch, jimmy got pissed but it was okay cause anele and myself were there again to brighten his day… tyler was also there too with his girlfriend.  David Brown and his date allison kolsar were there at cedar point as well, they are good friends with jimmy and so we decided to join up in that group of people.  So we werent totally selfish which was good!

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well this is it my 1st blog. lets see what do i talk about. I can talk about anything even my problems. And we all know i have problems…. haha. Oh boy

 Well lets start out with problem number 1.. it goes by the name of PROM. is it a good ole time? I dont know, personally im kinda scared cause here we have this girl who i used to think i loved but now the thing i want most is just to have her friendship.  At first we were all going to be selfish, but then we invited our outreach to come and be in our Prom group too. Jon Ivins this dude has been a good friend of mine since 4th grade summer school.  We were pals back in the day, then i didnt see him for a good number of years. Then comes freshman year of highschool, he is in my homeroom, he actually remembered me it was pretty cool seein him again.  Then two years later i became a christian, and he was one of the first guys i tried to invite. It didnt work out too well, mainly cause i was but a young little christian and i didnt know how to properly evangalize.  Now with two strong fulfilling years under my belt i can try again.  Praise God for giving me a second chance. 

Now a more knowledgeable Mikey is on the scene two years of serving the Lord and strengthening my walk with Him.  I am truley blessed to have been giving the gifts that i have. I do not deserve them thats for sure, and sometimes i wished i didnt have these gifts either.  People tell me i have the gift of teaching, its a ruff one to have.  Many of the elders of the church say i have this gift and maybe i do.  But Dodd damn dude its soooooo stressfull.  You dont even know stress until you teach a homechurch.

And now Prom is on! Funny story that i will share with you.  So when i asked the lucky lady if she would go to homecoming with me she said no, i also asked her on the same summer night if she would go to Prom with me, she said no again.  Well that was back in the summer.  She eventually went to homecoming with me. Then we hit a road block, it was ruff to say the least.  Then bam she agrees to go to Prom with me.  Its funny how things turn out.  I dont know if this is a second chance or what but this time i wont screw things up. 

it all goes down at 5.5– pick up me date and take pictures until like 7.

 7-9 dinner at the pufferbelly

9-midnite-Prom dance

midnite-2am- AfterProm

2am-6am-either sleepy time or movie time

6am-8am-get ready for Cedar Point

8am-11pm cedar point

and then my last week as a high school student begins

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